Aesop's Fables - The Troll Who Cried Dead Barrier Reef

IBdaMann wrote:

The Troll Who Cried Dead Barrier Reef

Robup was an average troll like most other trolls. He put his rants on one leg at a time, just as any other troll would. He dreamed of being a science genius, he spammed conversations at the adults' table, he always blended in with the mindless collective ... he was a pillar of tyranny.

But Robup wanted more. He wanted to be a superhero. He wanted to save the planet and he wanted everyone to be appreciative of his existence. Robup wanted everyone to pay attention to him. Someday," he declared, "I'm going to have a LIBRARY!"

So one day while putting on his favorite socks, Squeal and Ima, Robup devised a plan. "I will save the Dominican coral reefs!" he exclaimed, and everyone will love me. But there was one problem. Robup's former equipment was long gone. How could he possibly save the planet without his Gamma-Spec and his arsenic detection kit? His sock Squeal interjected "You can do this! You suffered to shake Ronald Reagan's hand. If you can do that, you can do anything!"

"By Climate, you're absolutely right!" Robup shouted. "After I testify in court, I'm going to head straight on down to the Dominican Republic and save those coral reefs or my name isn't Robup Northert!"

So Robup jumped into the Caribbean and swam to Punta Cana (using a carbon-neutral stroke) to first visit his favorite mangroves that he identified as saving the planet's oceans by restoring the alkalinity that humanity was wilfully destroying.

Then Robup pulled himself up by the britches, mustered his courage, and marched directly into the center of town crying "Help! Help! The coral reef has died!" The town sprung into action without delay. Every man, woman and child rushed to the piers with their scuba equipment and their "Climate Justice" banners. They dove into the reef waters with their coral bleaching resuscitation kits. The entire town was submerged faster than a Climate Scientist can say "I'm a PhD".

... but what they found was a thriving coral reef, teeming with color and bustling with life. "What are you talking about?" asked the town leaders. "You did mean this reef, right?"

Robup was miffed. How could he be mistaken about something?

Robup declared "I meant the next coral reef. We need to alert the next town!" With nary a hesitation, everyone rushed to get out of the water and sped to the next town to warn them. "The coral reef is dead! The coral reef is dead!" The next town leapt into action with lightning speed. Every man, woman and child rushed to the Greenpeace boats their scuba equipment and their "Black Lives Matter" T-shirts. They dove into the reef waters with their satellite uplinks, becoming submerged faster than CNN can announce a "fact check."

... but what they found was another thriving coral reef, packed with colorful fish of all shapes and sizes and brilliantly-colored corals that almost sparkled under the Caribbean sun. "What are you talking about?" asked the town leaders. "You did mean this reef, right?"

Robup was miffed. How could he be mistaken about something?

Robup declared "I meant the next coral reef. We need to alert the next town!" But the leaders of the two towns had had enough. They told him to just leave, and everyone turned their backs on Robup. They were cruel. They made Robup feel sad. Robup was the victim of their cruelty. Robup knew why so many tourists each year visited the Dominican Republic for only a short time and then left. It's because they are so cruel, and the President doesn't do schytt about it!

Robup decided one thing, right then and there: He would not build his library in the Dominican Republic. They could kiss his BioGeoAss.

And everyone lived happily ever after.

Disclaimer: This story is purely fictional. Any similarities to anyone are purely coincidental.

duncan61 wrote:My friend from Iraq has been coming over to watch the footy finals and watched me make up soda stream for the first time. He full on believes the media spin and was horrified that I was deliberately forcing CO2 in to chilled water. I have found if I place the 1 litre soda stream bottle in the freezer till I get a thin layer of ice on the surface it absorbs lots of fizz and tap water at 16-18.C. does not get fizzy at all. I hope I have not been to technical. From this is it reasonable to assume tropical seas at 30.C have little to no CO2 as it has all boiled off. Where dem coral reefs at again?

duncan61 wrote:
My friend from Iraq has been coming over to watch the footy finals and watched me make up soda stream for the first time. He full on believes the media spin and was horrified that I was deliberately forcing CO2 in to chilled water. I have found if I place the 1 litre soda stream bottle in the freezer till I get a thin layer of ice on the surface it absorbs lots of fizz and tap water at 16-18.C. does not get fizzy at all. I hope I have not been to technical. From this is it reasonable to assume tropical seas at 30.C have little to no CO2 as it has all boiled off. Where dem coral reefs at again?

IBdaMann wrote:

duncan61 wrote:My friend from Iraq has been coming over to watch the footy finals and watched me make up soda stream for the first time. He full on believes the media spin and was horrified that I was deliberately forcing CO2 in to chilled water. I have found if I place the 1 litre soda stream bottle in the freezer till I get a thin layer of ice on the surface it absorbs lots of fizz and tap water at 16-18.C. does not get fizzy at all. I hope I have not been to technical. From this is it reasonable to assume tropical seas at 30.C have little to no CO2 as it has all boiled off. Where dem coral reefs at again?

Sea water can have dissolved CO2. Sea water evaporates, releasing any dissolved CO2 it might have back into the atmosphere ... unless some marine plantlife consumes that CO2 first. Once released back into the atmosphere, CO2 remains at the bottom of the troposphere until it either dissolves in some water or is consumed by plants or duncan uses it to fizz water in his soda stream or it is used to propel a paintball, or to make dry ice, ... actually, I think there are a few other destinations for CO2 as well.

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Into the Night wrote:

IBdaMann wrote:

duncan61 wrote:My friend from Iraq has been coming over to watch the footy finals and watched me make up soda stream for the first time. He full on believes the media spin and was horrified that I was deliberately forcing CO2 in to chilled water. I have found if I place the 1 litre soda stream bottle in the freezer till I get a thin layer of ice on the surface it absorbs lots of fizz and tap water at 16-18.C. does not get fizzy at all. I hope I have not been to technical. From this is it reasonable to assume tropical seas at 30.C have little to no CO2 as it has all boiled off. Where dem coral reefs at again?

Sea water can have dissolved CO2. Sea water evaporates, releasing any dissolved CO2 it might have back into the atmosphere ... unless some marine plantlife consumes that CO2 first. Once released back into the atmosphere, CO2 remains at the bottom of the troposphere until it either dissolves in some water or is consumed by plants or duncan uses it to fizz water in his soda stream or it is used to propel a paintball, or to make dry ice, ... actually, I think there are a few other destinations for CO2 as well.

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Fire extinguishers, bread, pizza crust, biscuits and rolls, all come to mind as well.